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MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER Fresh from the shower, I stood in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts were too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically came up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then everyday take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds." Willing to try anything, I fetched a piece of toilet paper and stood in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. "How long will this take?", I asked. "They will grow larger over a period of years", my husband replied. I stopped. "Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts bigger over the years?" Without missing a beat he says, "Worked for your butt, didn't it?" He is still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again.