Businesses That Failed

GERIATRIC CITY
Quality housing for older citizens that couldn't attract
retirees, despite the mirrored bedroom ceilings, the
hot tubs, the adjacent burial plots and other amenities.

PUMP AND HUMP
A Nevada brothel that offered self-service gasoline to
its customers.

STICKY WICKETS
Pre-owned erotica for sale at attractive discount prices.

HAIR AND NOW
Fast, inexpensive hair replacement using cat fur and
thumb tacks.

PARADISE LOST AND FOUND
A gynecological clinic franchise specializing in "25,000
mile tune-ups".

SCRATCH AND SNIFF
A new medication for hemorrhoids...available in all
your favorite fragrances.